So yeah, the Pope's in London today and tomorrow. And he'll be driving his Popemobile about town. In honour of this occasion (yes, it is actually a newsworthy event) here are some Pope-tastic posters that the Vatican's film-making arm was too scared to make... 

Alternative tagline: "He's a devil behind the wheel"

100 Papal Points to whoever sees the Popemobile in London today and exclaims "Zadok the Priest, that's a nice ride!"

And finally, to mark the length of time Pope Benedict is staying in the UK: 

Yes, it's officially Agatha Christie Day around the world and to celebrate we've done something slightly special: the very first i-Flicks.net Radio Play!

Yeah, suck on that Google. We have AUDIO and stuff.

Bringing Agatha's legendary character of Hercule Poirot to life for your eardrums, you can relive one of Hollywood's all-time classic crime thrillers through the little grey cells of literature's finest Belgian detective.

So sit back, straighten your fake moustache, get rid of that blood on the library floor, and dunk an 'ob-nob in your tea. Because it's time to enjoy The Hercule Suspects: a revolutionary three-part drama in honour of the great author herself. Well, that and we were bored.

The Hercule Suspects: Part 1

There aren't many Hollywood actors who have had a career as tumultuous as Joaquin Phoenix. Born to a family who named their children "Rain", "River" and "Summer", the third oldest Phoenix child has gone from Gladiator's success to M Night Shyamalan's The Village without blinking. Until now.

Years after being rescued from a car accident on Sunset Boulevard by Werner Herzog, he's spent 18 months of his life trying to become a rapper. Being followed around with a camera by brother-in-law Casey Affleck, I'm Still Here claims to be a documentary of Joaquin Phoenix's "lost year".

Not since the revelation that actor Russell Crowe was actually a figment of John Nash's schizophrenic hallucinations has there been such a captivating look at someone's mental breakdown. But Joaquin has something that Russell Crowe's mathematician didn't: a GREAT BIG BUSHY BEARD.

Was Joaquin always all there? Is he simply still crazy after all these years? Let's take a look back at the ups and breakdowns of his movie career...

There aren't many people more disturbed or twisted than Eli Roth - the guy who gave the world Cabin Fever and both Hostel films. His latest creation, The Last Exorcism, is his own response to both the handheld craze of Paranormal Activity and the long-lasting reputation of The Exorcist. Which he first saw when he was six - something that might explain quite a lot.

In the run-up to The Last Exorcism's UK release, we sat down with Eli Roth (producer) and director Daniel Stamm to ask them about making a modern movie about possession. The resulting discussion covered everything from religious fundamentalism and District 9 to bashing cats to death with video cameras...

Cuts are in the air as kids go back to school this September. But with education funding reduced and renovation plans scrapped, who do you turn to when your local primary or secondary has collapsed into a pile of rubble?

With its varied back-catalogue and comfortable seating arrangements, the cinema could well be your best bet to educate your offspring.

Nick Clegg can’t stop you seeing a film based on your postcode, and Michael Gove is all for people starting up their own state schools. Even Odeon’s website agrees: "the cinema can provide a useful and relevant study aid," it readily enthuses. Starting up your own school? Don’t use the chip shop – use your own home cinema.

When it comes to the national curriculum on a budget, you can forget the Three Rs. The letters you want are these: DVD.

Here’s a rundown of your basic introductory syllabus:

Scott Pilgrim melts the eyeballs of any geek who dares look at it, but Edgar Wright's digital freak-out also aims its pixels somewhere else: directly at your ears.

You may not register it at first, all those noises from games past and present, but Nigel Godrich and Wright have fused together those retro chiptunes with a modern take on Nintendo's gaming world. Who knew Street Fighter and Zelda could influence cinema so much?

The first sign comes from the opening credits: a gloriously naff rendition of an iconic studio's fanfare. After that fix, you'll be chomping at the 8-bit for weeks to come. But before you burn your speakers out with all the MIDI-fied goodness, save yourself some effort (and street-cred) because we've gone and rounded up the internet's best offerings for you. Because we're nice like that. And incredibly, incredibly sad.

So put your Gameboys on charge and turn your speakers to 11. Here are cinema's greatest themes. All in glorious 8-bit mono sound. Bring the noise.