"You always look so cool. The man in the cool, beautiful suit."

The Great Gatsby trailer is here. And Baz Luhrrman is absolutely loving the extravagance of the mysterious Mr. Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio). Just look at this man holding a giant bottle of champagne. LOOK at it.

Now imagine it in 3-D.

There's no doubt that the Moulin Rouge director can convey the extravagance of the 1920s - he just needs to nail that American Dream to the wall with equal aplomb. That's the difficult part. So far, all we can tell from the trailer is that an awful lot of people say "Gatsby" over and over again. Still, that giant bottle of champagne does look impressive. And it's nice to see Tobey Maguire sinking his teeth into something that isn't Spider-Man.

Read on for the full video, which is currently over at MSN, and The Great Gatsby poster too.

Director: Wes Anderson
Cast: Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Tilda Swinton
Certificate: 12A
Trailer

"Dear Sam. Where?" "Dear Suzy. When?"

That's how Sam and Suzy arrange to run away together. By hand-written letters from opposite sides of a remote island.

He, a bullied Khaki Scout who sets fires to things while sleepwalking; she, a troubled child with violent tendencies and a lot of eyeshadow. Alienated by uncomprehending families and friends, they plan to survive on their own in the woods.

Fortunately, they’re well equipped. Sam has his Scout skills. Suzy has binoculars. Plus they have a torch, a toothbrush, a Davey Crocket hat, a frying pan, an air gun, a suitcase full of books - and Benjamin Britten’s Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra.

Just as you start to get excited by all the new trailers, along comes Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master and steals the show.

The Master follows the eponymous man in the 1950s, who begins a religious movement that gains followers across the US. It's not based on anything officially, but you can bet your ass it rhymes with Schmientology.

Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams and Phillip Seymour Hoffman star, although we only get to see Phoenix in this short glimpse. He's a bit messed up. Has violent episodes. Can't remember them afterwards. Let's call him Com Truise. The beginning of a flashback structure for the film? Hoffamsn' The Master would know. But there's no sign of him yet.

After lots of struggles trying to get this one made, PTA's long-awaited film is finally on its way to the screen - five years after There Will Be Blood - and it looks every bit as intriguing as its premise suggests. Not least because of Jonny Greenwood's hypnotic, rhythmic, discordant chords that goes alongside Joaquin's nervous mumblings. Here's the trailer:

We'll just start preparing those Oscars now, shall we?

The Skyfall teaser trailer arrived this morning - and it was just a little bit ruddy fantastic. But because Roger Deakins' visuals were so stunning and the whole thing was so short, I found myself replaying the video in slow-motion just to get a closer look at it all.

So here's a full breakdown of the Skyfall teaser trailer in HD screencaps. Because sometimes a two-second picture of giant blue jellyfish just isn't enough.

Director: Timo Vuorensola
Cast: Julia Dietze, Peta Sergeant, Stephanie Paul, Götz Otto, Christopher Kirby
Certificate: 15
Trailer

Nazis. On the moon. Moon Nazis. Noons. Mazis. However you say it, Iron Sky’s premise sounds brilliant. And it starts off exactly like it should: with the world’s first black astronaut and male model, James Washington (Kirby), venturing onto the dark side of the moon - only to discover a hidden base for the Fourth Reich. So far, so Transformers 3. But with more brains. And breasts.

"Some men are coming to kill us. We're going to kill them first."

That's the sound of Bond going bad-ass in the Skyfall teaser trailer. That other noise? The high-pitched squealing? That's me geeking out over Bond going bad-ass in the Skyfall teaser trailer.

There's barely anything to the video, but what's on show is fantastic. The framing and composition are gorgeous and the lighting suitably moody. Guns, explosions, word association, it's all good. As for Daniel Craig, he's never looked more licensed to kill. Now all we need is some more Naomie Harris and a bit of Ben Whishaw to go with Judi Dench and all those coffins.

Read on for the full Skyfall teaser trailer - if this is what 84 seconds of a Sam Mendes Bond film is like, imagine it going on for two hours.

UPDATE: TWO Anchorman 2 teaser trailers have turned up - the second a lot funnier than the first.

In other news, I love Brick.

You're gonna cream

Day 4

On a scale of 1 to Not in Cannes, I'm still firmly up at the Not in Cannes end of the spectrum. But that didn't stop me from seeing Wes Anderson's latest film in London last night anyway.

Conclusion? I loved it. Partly because Moonrise Kingdom sounds like the best Super Mario level ever:

I'll have a full review for you next week, when I'm not so busy not being in Cannes.

If you hadn't already guessed from the drunken male whooping and loud, sadistic cheering, The Raid is out in UK cinemas tomorrow. And by heck, is it good, if only for learning all the really cool ways to kill people - Welsh director Gareth Evans knows loads.

The endless spree of gleeful gore is so spectacular that the first question I asked when I walked out of the blood-splattered cinema was: how many people died in The Raid: Redemption? And, more importantly, HOW did they die?

And so, when I saw the film for a second time at the Picturehouse Podcast's special birthday screening, I went prepared. I took a pen and paper and (in between crying out in pleasure) noted down every single kill in The Raid and attempted to categorise them by method of dispatch. Afterwards, I took my incomprehensible pile of scribbles and added The Raid's body count up - then, inspired by the glorious carnage, spent the rest of the evening trying to think of a really cool way to kill someone using a piece of A4 paper.

The result was this handy infographic. Read on to see The Raid: Redemption - an unofficial body count, with an emphasis on the unofficial. Because it's hard to count when you're distracted by awesome, non-stop violence.

(Warning: Spoilers - well, for those who don't want to know how to kill a man with a fridge.)

Day 3

Guess where I am? That's right! Still not in Cannes.

She Monkeys is out in UK cinemas today - and it's a rather good little Swedish flick that centres on control, sex, horses and teenage girls.

To get you in the mood for some Swedish equine romance, here's the new trailer that plays up Lisa Aschan's description of the film as a "modern Western". But don't be fooled by the twangy guitar and guns - this is a seriously challenging movie that aims straight at sexual taboos and shoots from the hip.

If you like what you see, head this way to read our She Monkeys review.

The Skyfall poster has now been revealed. And we can all clearly see that the film will follow Daniel Craig's James Bond as he is shrunk down to microscopic size and fired out of the barrel of a gun, probably aimed at Bérénice Marlohe's breasts - his sexiest and most perilous mission yet.

Anyway, enough of that. Here it is. Marvel at its simple beauty.