Marvel's Avengers Assemble smashed box office records in America yesterday, taking $200 million in one weekend. That's the highest opening of any film ever ever ever.

With high ticket prices and 3D uplifts, it's no surprise that blockbusters are breaking records every year (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 threw down the Quidditch gauntlet last year with a $169m opening). So far, The Avengers has taken 440 odd million dollars worldwide, putting it well on course for breaching the $1 billion barrier broken by Avatar back in 2010 - and that's still nowhere near the all-time adjusted gross takings for Gone with the Wind: a Hulk-smashing $1,582,009,400.

As one of my favourite blokes off the internet put it last night:

 

A billion here. A few million there. A couple of Andy Carrolls on top. Let's put this into perspective. As I'm writing this, I have a little over £3,000 in my bank account. That's a lot of money. 

So before you start typing the words "Avengers" and "box office records", read on to see what exactly $200m is worth. (Any numerical errors are a direct result of my brain melting after trying to grasp the concept of $200 million.)

Warner Bros. has revealed pictures of the miniature model of Hogwarts Castle from its studio tour of The Making of Harry Potter - and in doing so has exposed one of the greatest kept movie secrets of all time...

Harry Potter was made by The Borrowers.

 

 

The tour opens at the end of March. Watch your step - you might accidentally crush half the production team.

 

 

I woke up this morning and realised something terrible: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD ON FRIDAY.

If by end of the world, you mean the end of the Harry Potter film franchise. And if by Friday, you mean Friday.

Yes, the sensationally brilliant Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (review here) is out on DVD in the next 48 hours and (here's the sad part) I'll never have the chance to write about a new Harry Potter film ever again. That means no more of this...

 

 

... or any of the other Harry Potter songs I made a few months back.

Good news, some might say, but this is a terribly emotional time for me. I even started to do a little cry when I received an email containing a new clip titled "Harry's Return to Hogwarts".

Oh well, at least I can comfort myself with a shiny copy of Daniel Radcliffe on Blu-ray/Triple Play/DVD/Digital Download this weekend. Until then, read on to see Harry return to Hogwarts - FOR THE LAST TIME.

I'm off to shed a few man tears in my bedroom.

Dear David Yates,

Meet Doctor Who: 

 

 

P.S. Loved State of Play. Can't wait for you to be back working with the BBC. 

P.P.S. Good to see you're "starting from scratch" and not continuing on the Steven Moffat or Russell T Davies story lines. 

 

 

Last night, @007 announced two new cast members for Bond 23, Skyfall: Helen McCrory and Ola Rapace.

 

Here are some exciting facts about each:

 

Ola Rapace is Swedish. This makes him 700% more awesome.

Helen McCrory was once in Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking. This is not a porn film.

Ola Rapace was married to Noomi Rapace. This also makes him 700% even more awesome.

Helen McCrory played a vampire in Dr Who. But it turned out she was actually a big fish.

"Rapace" means BIRD OF PREY in Italian. Oh yeah. 

Helen McCrory played Cherie Blair in The Queen and Narcissa Malfoy in Harry Potter. No-one can tell the difference. 

Old Rapace is an anagram of A Coral Ape. 

Helen McCrory is an anagram of Lyncher Comer.

Helen McCrory is married to Damian Lewis. This makes her 700% even more awesome.

 

Here ends today's token Bond 23 update.

 

 

If you can't afford those ridiculously expensive fireworks, here are some film fireworks to make you go "Oooooo!" and "Aaaaah!"

For those with enough money to afford fireworks, if you manage to recreate any of the following fireworks scenes in your own back garden, you're doing well.

Deathly Hallows Part 2 is finally here - and it's natural to feel a bit emotional about it. There's the overwhelming sadness that it's all over, the slight annoyance at the inclusion of J.K. Rowling's silly epilogue, and the faint sexual arousal that only this face can bring:

 

 

Yes, our final Harry Potter song is dedicated to the Dark Lord himself, Mr Voldemort. He's a sexy beast is old Voldy, from his noseless face and dulcet whispers to his lack of morals and slight dominatrix complex. Let's face it, we'd all secretly love it if he turned us into one of his Horcruxes.

Even this suitcase at Paddington station was brushing up against Voldy's arm last Thursday, trying to get a little taste of the black magic.

 

 

 

And so without further ado, here's The Lord Voldemort Stomp (aka. Put Your Horcrux in Me) - with apologies to fans of Sweet Charity (and anybody else who has ears).

 

 

 

 

For more Potter goodness, head this way for a Deathly Hallows Part 2 review.

 

Director: David Yates
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman
Certificate: 12A
Trailers / Potter Special

This is how you end a franchise. Not by writing "It All Ends" in large letters on the poster, but by killing off several cast members before the final reel. If you ever needed proof that Harry Potter has grown up since the sugar-coated fluff of Philosopher’s Stone, the dark carnage of Deathly Hallows Part 2 is it. You couldn’t fit in any more death if you turned all the wizards into Lemmings and set them to nuke. In short, it’s bloody brilliant.

2011 UPDATE: The Deathly Hallows Part 1 live blog is at the bottom.

 

Poor lonely boy with no friends lives in cupboard under the stairs. Decides to watch all Harry Potter films in a row. And live blog them as he goes.

902 minutes. 6 films. 1 cathode ray television. Accio life.

It's only a matter of hours before I see the first part of the last part of the Harry Potter series and - in case you haven't realised - I'm rather excited about Deathly Hallows. So here's what happened inside my head while I attempted the ultimate Harry Potter marathon before wetting myself on the way to the cinema (Twitter hashtag: #potterthon).

This is Potterthon. Expecto Patronum some hardcore magic, biatch.

After Hermione's rendition of That's Not My Name (and Neville's sexy theme song), the Potter songs continue with another tribute to one of Harry's closest friends. Yes, it's the turn of Ronald Bilius Weasley.

Why Weasley? Partly because my redhead friends would never forgive me for overlooking Rupert Grint's manly ginger sidekick. Plus with only a week until Deathly Hallows Part 2, everyone's starting to do impressions of Ron. It's impossible to talk to any Potter fan without one of them getting over-excited and squealing out:

 

 

And so, to make sure everyone has a full arsenal of Ron Weasley quotes to choose from when shouting on the bus, here's The Ron Weasley Remix.

 

The Ron Weasley Remix by iFlicks

 

 

For more Harry Potter goodness, head this way for the Deathly Hallows Part 2 trailer.