Director: Richard Curtis
Cast: Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Rhys Darby, Rhys Ifans, Kenneth Branagh, Jack Davenport, Chris O’Dowd, Tom Sturridge
Certificate: 15

My name’s Richard Curtis and I’m a pop addict – or, at least, that’s what we’re led to believe from his latest effort, The Boat That Rocked. He’s clearly made a huge effort in recreating his favourite era of illicit vinyl and pirate radio. But it’s not nearly as much as it takes to watch it.

But then the question arises: who was the best of the beasts? Then other questions join the frenzy. Questions like: Are they better when they're funny or scary? Colour or black-and-white? Small or big? Hairy or slimy? Why didn't Frankenstein have a small maggot sidekick?

And so, with a sentimental tear in our eyes we bring you the Ultimate Monster/Alien Showdown of All Time. Which of Hollywood's horrors will top the tournament and be crowned King of Critters? Enough pre-amble, let the bloodbath BEGIN.

Director: Tom Hooper
Cast: Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney
Certificate: 15

Charismatic, arrogant, outspoken, Brian Clough is arguably one of England’s greatest football managers. His achievements with Derby and then Nottingham Forest remain, in many respects, unsurpassed. The Damned United is a partially fictionalised account of Brian Clough’s next move: a catastrophic 44 day stint at Leeds United.

Born in Newport, allegedly of human parents, Michael Sheen is a chameleon, seemingly able to take on the appearance, voice and mannerisms of anyone. Is your identity safe?

The only way to ensure your face, hair and voice aren't cloned is to learn how this man works. For your own protection and safety, here's a profile (a CRB, if you will) of Britain's most prolific fraudster...