You know how it is. You're walking along, look up in the sky, and suddenly a massive rock is heading towards Earth ready to crash into your face. Quick as a flash, you run around like a nutter trying to find the best way to stay alive and warn everyone else on the planet. 

In between scrawling "THE END IS NIGH" on a sandwich board and running around naked like Kirsten Dunst, you rifle through your DVD collection of movie apocalypses to work out what to do. Armageddon? Deep Impact? What about zombies or natural disasters? Then you realise that you've actually just been watching Lars von Trier's Melancholia, out this weekend in UK cinemas, and that the world isn't about to end after all.

Oh well, at least you've got this handy set of instructions for when the apocalypse actually arrives...

 

 

For more end of world goodness, head this way to watch the Melancholia trailer.

 

Alternatively, take a look at some of our other How To... infographics, including How to Kill Your Horrible Boss, How to Slay a Vampire, How to Survive an Alien Invasion - and a diagram of Christian Bale Punching People.

 

If there's one thing Paul Bettany's good at, it's kicking ass for the Lord. And now to celebrate the new trailer for Priest, we've got two new stills from Scott Stewart's religious shoot-em-up. And they're pretty much exactly what you'd expect.

Teaming up again after the floppy wobbly Legion, Stewart's actioner sees Paul Bettany's Priest (read: trained killer in a war against vampires) trying to live an everyday life in a dystopian city controlled by the Church. But when vampires kidnap his niece, he goes back into business. And apparently hops onto his sexy black motorbike.

Yes, clerics, guns and bikes (oh my) are the order of the day. And when that's not fast enough for him, Bettany jumps around on the side of trains to get his speed fix. With him on his crusade for vengeance is Maggie Q's Priestess. She has has otherwordly fighting skills, naturally.

The best bit about the new trailer? There's oodles of Karl Urban's bad guy. And he's wearing A HAT. He also conducts an invisible orchestra at one point. To enjoy Urban's growly nemesis, check out the trailer in our videos section, or read on for the video plus the sexy stills of Bettany's man of God.

Priest hits cinemas on Friday 13th May next year.

After the floppy wobbly Legion, Scott Stewart and Paul Bettany are back with another religious session of ass kicking with Priest. Judging by the trailer, which is now online, it might be an improvement.

Naturally, the manga it's based on has vampires in it - evil, blind, underground dwelling bloodsuckers, who have been at war with man for decades. After the church took over government, they trained up fighting priests to rid the world of the scummy sinful creatures.

Enter Paul Bettany. Now, though, the vampires have been largely defeated, and our titular priest is trying to live a normal everyday life. Then some rogue vampires kidnap his niece. So he goes back to kicking ass for the Lord.

It's not that bad looking, given the cheesy dialogue and copious slow-motion. There's an especially interesting bit at 1:01, where you can see a crazy man in a hat conducting an invisible orchestra. For the trailer, head over to First Showing. For more on invisible orchestras, head here. Alternatively, just read on for the video.

Priest hits cinemas in May 2011. Oh, and it'll be in 3D.

 

Remember Legion? The archangel arse kicking actioner from Scott Smith? The one where Paul Bettany chops his wings off and jumps down to Earth to protect the Second Coming from the wrath of Heaven? How could we forget it? Well, just in case you have, there's a brand new clip online for your retinas to feast on. And it's pretty damn awesome.

Archangel Michael (Bettany), now sans halo, is seen here in a dust up with Archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand). You can tell from the brutality of the battle that God means business when he sends his forces to wipe out humanity. Don't believe me? Look at Gabriel's air-slicing wings. That knocks the socks off Alan Rickman's feathers in Dogma.

Head over to Yahoo Movies for the exclusive thing, or read on for the video below.