You know how it is. You're walking along, look up in the sky, and suddenly a massive rock is heading towards Earth ready to crash into your face. Quick as a flash, you run around like a nutter trying to find the best way to stay alive and warn everyone else on the planet. 

In between scrawling "THE END IS NIGH" on a sandwich board and running around naked like Kirsten Dunst, you rifle through your DVD collection of movie apocalypses to work out what to do. Armageddon? Deep Impact? What about zombies or natural disasters? Then you realise that you've actually just been watching Lars von Trier's Melancholia, out this weekend in UK cinemas, and that the world isn't about to end after all.

Oh well, at least you've got this handy set of instructions for when the apocalypse actually arrives...

 

 

For more end of world goodness, head this way to watch the Melancholia trailer.

 

Alternatively, take a look at some of our other How To... infographics, including How to Kill Your Horrible Boss, How to Slay a Vampire, How to Survive an Alien Invasion - and a diagram of Christian Bale Punching People.

 

Suspicious neighbour moved in next door? Worried he's staring at your neck for too long?

Well, before you start getting out the garlic and silver bullets, remember what we've learned from the best vampire films over the years about fending off the fanged undead.

Here's the definitive movie guide to killing a vampire:

 

 

 

Fright Night is out in UK cinemas now. Head this way to read our Fright Night review.

 

For more movie guides to doing stuff (including How to Commit the Perfect Murder and How to Survive an Alien Invasion), head this way.

 

What with the horrifying Human Centipede hitting the cinemas and the recent release of Splice, I (as a research scientist) am starting to feel a bit persecuted. You may think I’m paranoid but more often than not, scientists end up as the bad guys in movies.

Whether we're villains with God complexes or clueless, well-intentioned beings who mess with things way beyond them, us test tube folk always get left carrying the buck. Especially when Bad Things Happen.

Researchers in medical sciences, and particularly genetics, seem to be the most likely to be given the Frankenstein (or "Harold Shipman") treatment. But is Hollywood right? Are we all horrible, heartless or just plain ignorant? If The Human Centipede is "100% medically accurate", let's open the Pandora’s Box of Hollywood’s past scientific failures and see just how accurate their "evil" scientists are.