You know how it is. You're walking along, look up in the sky, and suddenly a massive rock is heading towards Earth ready to crash into your face. Quick as a flash, you run around like a nutter trying to find the best way to stay alive and warn everyone else on the planet. 

In between scrawling "THE END IS NIGH" on a sandwich board and running around naked like Kirsten Dunst, you rifle through your DVD collection of movie apocalypses to work out what to do. Armageddon? Deep Impact? What about zombies or natural disasters? Then you realise that you've actually just been watching Lars von Trier's Melancholia, out this weekend in UK cinemas, and that the world isn't about to end after all.

Oh well, at least you've got this handy set of instructions for when the apocalypse actually arrives...

 

 

For more end of world goodness, head this way to watch the Melancholia trailer.

 

Alternatively, take a look at some of our other How To... infographics, including How to Kill Your Horrible Boss, How to Slay a Vampire, How to Survive an Alien Invasion - and a diagram of Christian Bale Punching People.

 

Director: Lars von Trier
Cast: Kirsten Dunst, John Hurt, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland
Certificate: TBC
Release Date: Friday 30th September

A beautiful movie about the end of the world, Melancholia sees Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgård) celebrating their marriage at a sumptuous party in the home of her sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and brother-in-law (Kiefer Sutherland).

Meanwhile, the planet, Melancholia, is heading towards Earth...

Melancholia is a psychological disaster movie from director Lars von Trier - you can bet Armageddon was never described like that.

The trailer for Lars von Trier's Melancholia has turned up online today. And it's seriously intriguing stuff.

It's been described as "a psychological disaster movie" and "a beautiful movie about the end of the world". The official synopsis goes something like this:

Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgård) are celebrating their marriage at a sumptuous party in the home of her sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and brother-in-law (Kiefer Sutherland). Meanwhile, the planet, Melancholia, is heading towards Earth...

It's clearly the film Armageddon should have been. But let's face it, an art house film about a planet crashing into planet Earth? There's only one way to describe this movie: it's Lars von Trier Meets Inception! 

 

 

Melancholia is in UK cinemas on Friday 1st July. The official site's over here. 

Does anyone care what Lars von Trier will do next? After Antichrist, probably not. But prepare for more craziness with Melancholia, a "psychology disaster movie", which seems to see a planet popping into existence right next to our own. Is Lars letting loose in sci-fi terrain? No idea. But the thought is a mildly disturbing one.

Producer Peter Aalbaek Jensen says it will have "some special effects, but nothing compared to Hollywood". And apparently money's already being thrown into the pot. All we know from the man himself is that there'll be "no more happy endings". Shocking stuff, I'm sure. After all, we all peed in our pants when we found out that CHAOS REIGNS. Uh-huh, Lars. Yeah, sure it does.