Director: Rian Johnson
Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt
Holy crap, it worked.
Hello? Who's this? And why is my computer glowing a strange colour?
I knew you were going to say that.
Because that's not a freaky thing to say…
Well, you're the one who said it.
No, I'm not.
You're right: but you're the one who's going to say it. In thirty years' time.
30 years? What the hell are you going on about?
I'm from the future.
Yeah, right. Is this Alex?
Susan? It's Susan, isn't it? Very funny, Susan.
I'm not Susan. I'm you. Ivan Radford. From the year 2042.
You know the film Looper?
You saw it last night, right?
I can tell you that it's going to be released in the United Kingdom on Friday 28th September 2012.
Everyone knows that.
Ok. Well… I can tell you that other people liked it as much as you did.
Yep. Audiences went crazy, there was talk of awards and then at the Oscars in 2013… let’s not go there. Anyway, in the future, Looper’s kind of a big deal.
Director: Simon West
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Jean Claude van Damme
It is a fact that if you shoot someone in just the right place, their head will explode. After testing this theory in The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone is back to push it right over the brink of scientific credibility. How? With guns. Lots and lots of guns. There are people as well, of course. Famous people. People famous for holding guns. This time round, one of them is a woman.
Together, these gun-toting famous people - and woman - use their guns to kill men. Bad men. Men with guns. And they don’t waste any time doing it. As soon as the screen switches on, Barney Ross (Stallone) and his expendable chums light it up with bullets, setting the tone for the rest of the film: if the first Expendables was big, dumb, loud and rubbish. This is bigger, louder, dumber and, erm, rubbisher.
How dumb, you say? To sum it up in six words: Dolph Lundgren riding a jet ski.
If you dare click past Rian Johnson's spoiler warnings, Looper's UK trailer still makes it look like a solid sci-fi flick.
Read on for the UK trailer for Looper. (Spoiler: It's awesome.)
Every now and then, something comes along that reminds how hopelessly in love I am with Rebecca Hall. This week, it's the Lay the Favourite trailer.
Based on the true story by Beth Raymer about Las Vegas gamblers, it sees Hall shack up with Bruce Willis and the cute Joshua Jackson to generally make as much money as possible. It's out in UK cinemas on Friday 22nd June - don't let the rom-com vibe from the trailer put you off. Here's the video:
See what I mean? Isn't she just delightful? The rest of the cast are too - what with this, Moonrise Kingdom and Looper, Bruce Willis is on a serious winning streak for roles right now - but hey, I don't want to marry them.
Director: Wes Anderson
Cast: Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Tilda Swinton
"Dear Sam. Where?" "Dear Suzy. When?"
That's how Sam and Suzy arrange to run away together. By hand-written letters from opposite sides of a remote island.
He, a bullied Khaki Scout who sets fires to things while sleepwalking; she, a troubled child with violent tendencies and a lot of eyeshadow. Alienated by uncomprehending families and friends, they plan to survive on their own in the woods.
Fortunately, they’re well equipped. Sam has his Scout skills. Suzy has binoculars. Plus they have a torch, a toothbrush, a Davey Crocket hat, a frying pan, an air gun, a suitcase full of books - and Benjamin Britten’s Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra.
UK Trailer: Moonrise Kingdom
Director: Wes Anderson
Cast: Bruce Willis, Ed Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman
UK release date: Friday 25th May
Moonrise Kingdom is the new movie directed by two-time Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Rushmore).
Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, Moonrise Kingdom tells the story of two 12-year-olds who fall in love, make a secret pact, and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore - and the peaceful island community is turned upside down in every which way.
Bruce Willis plays the local sheriff, Captain Sharp. Edward Norton is a Khaki Scout troop leader, Scout Master Ward. Bill Murray and Frances McDormand portray the young girl's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bishop. The cast also includes Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, and Bob Balaban; and introduces Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward as Sam and Suzy, the boy and girl.
It's been a while since I've had a good old game of spot the stiff but blimey, the new G.I. Joe: Retaliation trailer is the best set up for a game I've seen in years. They might as well include the line "Take me with you, I can see perfectly..." But enough pre-amble, let's play:
40 seconds into the new trailer for the G.I. Joe sequel, there is a MASSIVE EXPLOSION. Can you guess who doesn't survive long enough to appear in the rest of the film?
That's right: it's... THE LONDON EYE
And there was you thinking it was Channing Tatum.
The other big surprise of the video? It's not totally crap. Mainly because it's got Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson in it. Plus Jonathan Pryce plays a bad guy. And it's scripted by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the dudes who wrote Zombieland.
Read on to watch the whole G.I. Joe Retaliation trailer - and enjoy the fact that, for once, it's not just Big Ben that gets destroyed. Channing Tatum does too.
The full Looper trailer is finally here. And Rian Johnson's sci-fi flick looks positively loopy. In the best way possible.
"Time travel has not yet been invented. But 30 years from now, it will have been," begins a scratchy-voiced Joseph Gordon Levitt. It's reassuring to know that someone's keeping track of all the tenses flying around.
An assassin paid to take people from the future and kill them in the past, everything's going swimmingly for the young Looper. Until he finds out someone has been paid to do the same thing to him: himself (Bruce Willis).
Follow all that? Not really. Excited about it? Hell yes.
Read on to watch the full Looper trailer - or see it in HD at Apple. And if anyone mentions a teaser for a teaser for a trailer to me again, I'll travel back in time myself and shoot them in the balls.