|007 Goes Swimming - A History of Bond in Trunks|
|Written by Ivan Radford|
|Wednesday, 18 January 2012 12:52|
Women across the internet were all a fluster last week when a new image of Daniel Craig in swimming trunks popped up online. You'd almost think they'd never seen James Bond in a swimsuit before.
Of course, we all have. From Skyfall's Speedos to Goldfinger's grandpa number, 007 has been strutting his trunked stuff for decades. Here's a quick reminder of his checkered bikini past:
The Towel Swimsuit
Blue towelling with a zip? This retro onesie continued the old Victorian tradition of bathing suits rather than revealing swimming shorts. Bond's manly thighs and hairy arms just about pull off the fuzzy fashion choice - the same can't be said of my dad when he wore one in 1995.
Modelled by Sean Connery
Seen in Goldfinger (1964)
Buy from That place where my dad shops
Sink or swim? Swim - Connery's charisma keeps it afloat.
The Skinny Dip
If your initial reaction to the words "Roger Moore" and "skinny dip" were to run away and vomit on a small child, your instincts were right. After all, who needs swimming trunks? Not 007. It's the 70s, baby. And so, offered a wet dip by a naked woman called Chew Mi (subtle), Moore swiftly cocks an eyebrows and starts to strip. Fortunately, someone else turns up and stops him.
Modelled by Roger Moore
Seen in The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Buy from The Oh-My-God-Make-It-Stop Shop
Sink or swim? Sink - even with a lightweight linen shirt on, stripping in someone else's front garden is rude. Just look at the mix of terror and mockery on this poor girl's face:
The I-Didn't-Pack-A-Change-Of-Clothes Look
Every single Bond film (more or less) features 007 running into the ocean or diving into water to save a woman from peril. Obviously, in such perilous situations, there's no time to remove one's shirt or zip up your towel. For On Her Majesty's Secret service, though, it's less shark-infested water and more an impromptu paddle after Bond spots a woman enjoying a quiet stroll on the shore. Naturally, he jumps her but he keeps his frilly shirt on throughout - George Lazenby is far too sophisticated to be seen with his clothes off underwater. He'd sooner sport that towelling suit from Goldfinger. Which, of course, would be nowhere near as sexy as when Connery wore it, thus summing up exactly what's wrong with him.
Modelled by George Lazenby
Seen in On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Buy fromYour local frilly shirt emporium (probably in Camden)
Sink or swim? Sink - whether you're a character-driven hero or not, if you can't afford a decent pair of trunks, you don't belong in MI6.