|Film review: Rock of Ages
Written by Ivan Radford
|Tuesday, 12 June 2012 12:23
Cast: Diego Boneta, Julianne Hough, Tom Cruise, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman
Sherrie’s (Hough) a small town girl
Livin’ in a lonely world
She took the midnight bus goin’ to L.A.
Met a city boy (Boley)
Discovered that they both enjoy
Miming to 80s songs almost anywhere
On buses or in smoky rooms
Looking for any excuse
Like Mamma Mia with rock tunes
- it goes on and on and on and on…
Up and down the cinema
For shadows of a plot they can like.
Has lost his Hairspray golden touch
Can’t tell what’s ironic or trite.
A cash-grab of a musical
More Hollywood than rebel thrills
Warner Bros spend anything to milk one more dime.
Some parts are wins, others lose
Thank God that there's singing Tom Cruise
His topless douche does amuse
With his dragon dong and dong and dong.
And sexy Malin Akerman
Steal the show with Russell Brand’s crap Brum.
The scenes, lights, costumes
Look good, but it's all too clean
Less edgy glam rock and more glee.
So stop believin’
You'll only be feeling
Delight for half of the night.
No point deceiving
The good bits are all fleeting
It's only fun when Tom's in sight.
(Repeat to fade)
- adam shankman
- alec baldwin
- catherine zeta-jones
- diego boneta
- julianne hough
- malin akerman
- rock of ages
- russell brand