Those stalking me on The Twitters are all too aware of my recent trip across Europe. Eight cities. Seven countries. Two weeks. I know what you're thinking: that's crazy. What I was thinking: that's a lot of film posters.

So every time we passed a bus stop, lamppost or cinema with a poster on the outside, I took a quick snap to have a rummage through when I got back on home soil. What I found made me love Serbia even more - and made me wish I went to Russia. Or Poland.

In Madrid and Barcelona, I was pleased to find that movie titles continue to sound better in Spanish than in any other language:

Protocolo Fantasma sounds infinitely cooler than Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
"George offers the performance of his career" according to the Spanish press, saying the same thing as everywhere else. Old George's descendientes will be proud.		Sam Worthington is... ON THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS.

But Serbia, Portugal and Spain also proved that some titles are so powerful that they don't need translating...

McG: carrying the torch for the universal language of cinema.	All they had to do in Serbia was change Titanic's ending.

I also became painfully aware that pretty much every single country in the world has seen The Lorax before the UK. Alas, nobody would The Loraks with me in Serbian. (Little-known fact: Serbia's cinemas do not dub their films. Everything is shown with subtitles.)

Portugal, Serbia, Spain, Romania - all see The Lorax in March. Italy gets it in June. It's released in the UK in July. The only place to get it after us? Hungary in October.

But my favourite discovery? That Belgrade apparently didn't get the memo from Disney HQ. In Serbia's capital, cinemas aren't showing John Carter. Instead, they're showing another film called John Carter OF MARS:

But you know what? Seven countries, eight cities and two weeks later and I'm disappointed by the lack of imagination from international distributors. The same artwork in every single place? Whatever happened to the days of classic, absolutely bonkers foreign film posters?

 Poland does The Muppets

*books a flight to Poland*