Thanks to LA Weekly, I have never been more turned on in my life (even by that X-Men: First Class photo from the other day). And I've seen Gandalf's winkie. * 

And yes, I know what you're all thinking...

C-3P-OH YEAH 

It's like a Cyberman had sex with a McVitie's Gold Bar. 

Now go read about the Star Warz Burlesque show in full before I start making jokes about lightsabers and my penis.

* It was on a stage. In a darkened room. In rural England. STOP JUDGING ME.