No, I'm not talking about my review over at Cine-Vue.

There is a far better critique of Storage 24 on the internet - from a storage company. Yes, Storage.co.uk, THE place to go for all your local storage information, has done a blog on Johannes Roberts' low-budget British sci-fi, out this week. And it's a gem of cinema criticism.

It begins: 

The self storage industry never comes off well in the movies. Self storage facilities always seem to be depicted as illicit dens where shady things happen, patronised exclusively by a cast of criminals, weirdos and others who have something to hide. 

Storage 24 certainly doesn't back that trend. Here, aliens infiltrate the self storage facility and shady things happen, like murder, screaming and other generally gooey goings-on. Are these E.T.s criminals? Weirdos? Do they have something to hide? Noel Clarke's co-written screenplay never explains their motivation. So let's presume they're all three.

Criminal weirdo aliens with something to hide bumping off folks in a confined space? It's hardly an original idea. Still, our storage experts are right to be enthusiastic about its novel use of location:

...it demonstrates that the filmmakers think those who pay to see it will be familiar enough with self storage to understand what’s going on. 

(For those who aren't familiar with self-storage facilities, they're facilities that allow you to store things. Yourself.)

So is Storage 24 a classic? No. Why? Once again, the storage pros nail it:

the one-dimensional view of self storage offered is rather disappointing.

Imagine how the two-dimensional human stereotypes characters feel. Roberts' set pieces are enjoyable and the monster design is trashy enough to be fun, but you wish Clarke's script had a little more substance. Or, as the folks at Storage.co.uk put it:

We would welcome a more thoughtful kind of film about self storage that breaks the mould. 

We ALL would. Who hasn't said that to themselves at some point in the last 10 years, about science fiction AND the storage facility genre?

Self storage says a lot about the way we consume things in the modern age, so why isn’t it treated more seriously? Self storage facilities could make the perfect backdrop for thoughtful dramas which analyse the way we now tend to equate our possessions with success in life, or perhaps comedies about how shared ownership has become central to so many modern relationships.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE RIGHT.

Their conclusion is bang on the nose too:

Alfred Hitchcock, were he alive today, could probably have done something much more dramatic and exciting with the concept of self storage, without resorting to bucket-loads of gore.

I can't wait to hear what Storage.co.uk thinks of The Dark Knight Rises.