Director: David Goyer
Cast: Odette Yustman, Gary Oldman
Certificate: 15

One of the writers for The Dark Knight and Blade, David Goyer is something of a geek hero. But for every Batman Begins or Dark City, there's a Jumper. Or The Unborn. The tale of a young woman, Casey (Yustman), fighting the evil spirit of her unborn twin, The Unborn reads like something out of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Like Afterbirth, in which a mutated placenta attacks Bristol.

Apparently the spirit is a dhybbuk (Hebrew for very very bad), and it wants to break into our world. Or kill her. Probably both. How can she escape the demon's clutches? Luckily, David has his bag of hokum to hand. What could possibly scare us, other than the posessed child? An exorcism? Check - better make that a Jewish exorcism. Upside-down heads and ceiling-based shenanigans? Both present and correct. There's nothing that David won't stop at (including the infamous bottom-baring poster). Even Nazis get a look in. Speaking to her old grandmother about the family curse, nana actually says: "it has fallen to you to finish what started at Auschwitz." That line doesn't even belong in a war film, let alone a modern supernatural horror.

Equally out of place is Gary Oldman. Correction: Rabbi Sendak. Walking around (sans facial hair) with a serious expression, he leads the exorcism. "There have to be 10 of us," he explains, straight-faced. Why 10? "10 commandments, 10 fingers..." He pauses. "10 is a very important number." Bollocks.

VERDICT

Mathematically speaking, it's got everything to make it the best horror movie ever made. Do David's sums pay off? Do they heck.