Zoolander 2

Really, really, ridiculously disappointing.

The Assassin

There are martial arts movies and there are martial arts movies. The Assassin isn't either.

Batman v Superman

A bold, mature exploration of myths and epics - followed by a two-hour mess.

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Tag:in bruges

Seven Psychopaths still 

After Six Shooter and In Bruges, I've long suspected Martin McDonagh is one twisted fuck - in the very best way possible. The Seven Psychopaths trailer seems to confirm this. In the words of his sophomore effort, if it doesn't impress you, you're probably retarded and grew up on a farm.

Colin Farrell returns (as a troubled screenwriter called Martin) to join Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell in a dog kidnapping business - a con that runs pretty smoothly, until they steal Woody Harrelson's pooch. And he's none too happy. He's also a psychopath. Obviously.

So that's four so far. The trailer counts down the rest, along with some seriously snort-inducing dialogue. There's no point in me going on about McDonagh's stage work and his play due in the West End next year, or about the serious post-modern existential drama that will no doubt rear its head in between his new film's blackly comic violence.

Instead, let's just recap for a second: Colin Farrell. Christopher Walken. Tom Waits. Abbie Cornish. Olga Kurylenko. Martin McDonagh. AND Sam Rockwell. You. Retarded. Farm. Etc. 

Read on for the Seven Psychopaths trailer - it's out in the US in October, so expect it to be at the London Film Festival ready for a wintery release. (Update: Read our Seven Psychopaths review here.)

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Trailer: The Guard

Director: John Michael McDonagh
Cast: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle, Mark Strong, Liam Cunningham
Certificate: 15
Release Date: Friday 19th August

Sergeant Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) is a small-town cop with a confrontational personality, a subversive sense of humour, a dying mother, a fondness for prostitutes, and absolutely no interest whatsoever in the international cocaine-smuggling ring that has brought FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) to his door. However, despite the fact that Boyle seems more interested in mocking and undermining Everett than in actively working to solve the case, he finds that circumstances keep pulling him back into the thick of it.

First his tiresomely enthusiastic new partner McBride disappears, then his favourite hooker attempts to blackmail him into turning a blind eye, and finally the drug-traffickers themselves try to buy him off as they have every other member of the local police force. These events unwittingly offend Boyle's murky moral code. He realises that he needs to take matters into his own hands, and the only person he can trust is Everett. And so the scene is set for an explosive finale.

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Director: John Michael McDonagh
Cast: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle, Liam Cunningham, Mark Strong
Certificate: 15

"I can't tell if you're really motherfucking smart, or really motherfucking dumb." So says Don Cheadle of Brendan Gleeson's deadpan crime-fighter. A hardened FBI officer sent to the West coast of Ireland, Wendell spends most of the film working out what to make of backwater Sergeant Gerry Boyle. Is he a drunk racist? A sarcastic genius? Or just a really brilliant actor? (Spoiler: It's all three. But mostly he's racist.)

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With Studio Ghibli's Arrietty arriving in cinemas this week (read our Arrietty review), Hayao Miyazaki's screenplay takes us under the floorboards into the miniature world of Mary Norton's The Borrowers.

But while director Hiromasa Yonebayashi takes pleasure in watching Arrietty run from cats, carry leaves and all the other microscopic details of her existence, Ghibli's adaptation reminds us that, in the words of Dr. Seuss, a person's a person, no matter how small.

So join us, oh normal-sized people, as we turn the microscope onto all that is tiny in the world of film. These are cinema's greatest little people:

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"I thought only black lads were drug dealers."

There's something about Brendan Gleeson that makes almost anything he says hilarious. It's probably because he's brilliant. And Martin McDonagh knows it. Judging by The Guard's new UK trailer, the director's come up with another corker of a Gleeson performance.

After the hysterically amazing In Bruges, it was natural to hope that Gleeson and McDonagh would work together again. And here they are, with a cop comedy about a small-town Sergeant, Gerry Boyle, who gets caught up in an FBI hunt for a cocaine-smuggling ring.

It's not the most original premise on the planet, but when your odd couple are Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson, it's fair to assume there'll be a big number of laughs. In fact, the whole ensemble cast is promising, including Mark Strong and Liam Cunningham.

The bottom line? If you're not excited about this film, you're probably retarded and grew up on a farm. The Guard is released on Friday 19th August. Read on for the full trailer.

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