Zoolander 2

Really, really, ridiculously disappointing.

The Assassin

There are martial arts movies and there are martial arts movies. The Assassin isn't either.

Batman v Superman

A bold, mature exploration of myths and epics - followed by a two-hour mess.

https://i-flicks.net/components/com_gk2_photoslide/images/thumbm/760163zoolander__top.jpg https://i-flicks.net/components/com_gk2_photoslide/images/thumbm/572370The_Assassin.jpg https://i-flicks.net/components/com_gk2_photoslide/images/thumbm/111152batman_v_superman_still__1_.jpg
Home Blog Features Promethweekus: Alien Quadrilogy in Haiku
Promethweekus: Alien Quadrilogy in Haiku Print E-mail
Written by Ivan Radford   
Wednesday, 30 May 2012 16:54


Prometheus is almost here. In case you hadn't guessed from the millions of teasers and trailers - mostly for other teasers and trailers. So it's probably about time someone did a themed series of blog posts over a week (well, it's Wednesday now, so let's say a couple of days) and gave it a stupid name. Like Promethweekus. Or something.

With Ridley Scott returning to his best genre, the temptation is to write long, ineloquent articles analysing what makes the original Alien such a superb film. A part of me walks to talk almost exclusively (and at length) about Ridley Scott's use of tracking shots and how he shoots empty corridors like no other director. Another part of me wants to then contrast that with James Cameron's Aliens and talk about how the Avatar director tries to imitate Ridley's corridor-based camera movements - and mostly fails.

It's also hard not to debate the character development of Sigourney Weaver's Ripley: the careful juxtaposition of her against Veronica Cartwright's hysterical fellow female crew member in 1979; the unsubtle use of Carrie Henn's "Newt" in the loud, bombastic 80s; the transformation from mother to Queen Bitch at the turn of the decade; the move from Queen Bitch to scientific freak in 1997's muddled finale by Jean-Pierre Jeunet.

But I was so busy rewatching the Alien series that I didn't have time for all of that. So instead, here's a quick and easy way to remind yourself what happened in the franchise before going back to the myth's origins.

Here is the Alien Quadrilogy - in Haiku.


Alien (1979)

Alien haiku

Land on strange planet.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ooo, look - ARGH, MY FACE.


Corporations bad.

Ash is a God-damned robot.

Flamethrowered his face. 


Getting hot in here.

Better strip down to my pants.

Ripley. Signing off.


Aliens (1986)

Alien was good.

You know what’s even better?

Lots of aliens. 


Newt's such a bad-ass.

Young girl survives monsters. They

mostly come at night.


Robot guns don’t work.

There’s only one option left:

Nuke them from orbit.

 Aliens haiku


Alien3 (1992)

Alien3 Haiku

Alien returns

with more swearing than before.

Doesn't make it good.


Paul McGann. Charles Dance.

Phil Davis. Pete Postlethwaite.

All deserved better.


Alien: Resurrection (1997)

What a massive mess.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Joss Whedon wrote this.

Alien Resurrection haiku


Got an Alien Haiku of your own? Tweet it @iFlicks with the hashtag #alienhaiku or shove it on the Facebook page.


  • alien 3
  • alien quadrilogy
  • alien resurrection
  • aliens
  • carrie henn
  • charles dance
  • haiku
  • james cameron
  • jean-pierre jeunet
  • joss whedon