I'm not a big fan of trailer reviews, teaser descriptions or any other such pointless gubbins. But along came The Amazing Spider-Man last night with its promise of never-before-seen footage and I somehow ended up sitting in a cinema watching it. I mean, what else was I meant to do on a Monday night? Watch a program about The Queen? She can't shoot webs from her hands. (If it turns out she actually can, and she's reading this, my apologies twice over, your majesty.)
If you recall my reaction to the trailer that turned up on the interwebs last year, I went into The Amazing Spider-Man's preview event not convinced that there was any point in the movie's existence. 30 minutes later, I was surprised to leave feeling a hell of a lot more convinced.
Here are 6 reasons why - plus The Amazing Spider-Man's new, full trailer.
"YOU WILL BE UNPREPARED" screams the new trailer for Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. Right in between shots of massive dragons, scantily clad girls, slow-motion explosions and helicopters.
Let's get a few things straight, Mr. Visionary Director of 300 and Watchmen:
1. I am very well prepared for Sucker Punch, having seen at least two trailers for this absurd nonsense already.
2. It has dragons. Everyone is prepared for dragons. If you are not prepared for dragons, YOU ARE A FOOL.
3. As prepared as I am, I still have not got a clue what is going on. I doubt anyone on set did either.
4. Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Carla Gugino and Jon Hamm. All of these are very cool names.
5. This trailer is nothing but an excuse for some very loud music by a band I have probably never heard of.
6. I AM VERY EXCITED.
7. Did I mention the dragons?
Here's the new trailer:
And, just in case your eyeballs still want more, you can now go to the official site
and "paint" over the trailer. Like, choose a frame and write naughty words and stuff all over it. Ok, I admit: I was unprepared for that.
Director: John Cameron Mitchell
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart
Release Date: Friday 4th February
Becca and Howie Corbett are a married couple struggling to return to their everyday existence several months after the loss of their child. Becca and Howie embark on separate journeys, making increasingly unexpected choices that threaten to pull them apart.
Distancing herself from her family and her own emotions, Becca begins to surreptitiously follow a local teenage boy with whom she shares an unexplained connection. Howie clings wholeheartedly onto his memories and places his faith in the everyday routines of life, but an acquaintance at a group therapy session offers a more unconventional method of dealing with his feelings.
With their world tilted off of its axis, the couple must decide whether to allow their increasingly fractured personal journeys to bring them back together. RABBIT HOLE is a vivid, honest and unexpectedly funny portrait of a family searching for what remains possible in the most impossible of situations.
Director: Rowan Joffe
Cast: Sam Riley, Andrea Riseborough, John Hurt, Helen Mirren
Release Date: Friday 4th February
Adapted from Graham Greene’s iconic 1939 novel, Brighton Rock charts the headlong fall of Pinkie, a razor-wielding disadvantaged teenager hell bent on clawing his way up through the ranks of organized crime.
At the heart of the story is the anti-hero Pinkie’s relationship with Rose - an apparently innocent young waitress who stumbles on evidence linking Pinkie and his gang to a revenge killing that Pinkie commits. After the murder, Pinkie seduces Rose, first in an effort to find out how much she knows and latterly to ensure she will not talk to the police.
A love story between a murderer and a witness; can Pinkie trust Rose or should he kill her before she talks to the police? Can Rose trust Pinkie or is she next in line?
Director: Derek Cianfrance
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams
Release Date: Friday 14th January
Blue Valentine is a story of love found and love lost told in past and present moments in time. Flooded with romantic memories of their courtship, Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) use one night to try and save their failing marriage.
Which one's water and which one's the elephant?
While Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon argue amongst themselves, here's a little about the plot: it involves two people who "come together through their compassion for a special elephant". It's set in a circus, before you get any ideas. Perverts.
Jacob is apparently a veterinary student, not that you see him do any veterinarianing. And Marlena? Well, she's a performer in a circus. Which basically involves her doing stuff with elephants in front of a paying audience. Perverts.
It's easy to mock their love, especially when the statistical majority of human-elephant relationships end in crushing disappointment. But against all the odds (that's a direct quote from the official synopsis), they find life-long love. That is, until Christoph Waltz - Marlena's dangerous husband - tries to kill Robert Pattinson with a hammer. That particular highlight is at 1 min 19 seconds.
Water for Elephants is out on Friday 22nd April. Read on to see the whole trailer.
Director: Michel Gondry
Cast: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson
Release Date: Friday 14th January
Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is a rich, spoiled playboy. When his father (Tom Wilkinson) dies, Britt inherits a newspaper empire, along with resourceful company employee, Kato (Jay Chou). Like a small human Swiss Army knife, Kato builds the ultimate weapon, The Black Beauty, an indestructible car with every weapon imaginable. and Britt decides that in order to be heroes, they will pose as villains and take down the city's chief criminal, Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz).
There have been some awesome movie trailers this year, plus the usual load of trash. But the teasers that tipped over the edge into classy territory? Well, only a few managed to be a cut above the rest. And while they were all well and great, only one of those really deserves the honour of Best Trailer of 2010.
That film is Rubber.
A film about a tyre that rolls around killing things with its telephatic powers.
There are other video efforts worth saluting. But none of them even come close to Quentin Dupieux's inflatable psychic killing machine (thanks to Twitchfilm for the rubber-tastic image). Still, if you like your movies non-road safe and free of exploding birds, Read on for the other top trailers of 2010.
After the rather vague Paul teaser trailer lived up to its name (teaser - not Paul), we get a full-on look at Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's alien comedy. And, as if anyone were expecting otherwise, it looks hilarious.
Seth Rogen's voice is a good fit (after a few moments of adjusting) and E.T swiftly starts talking weed and showing off his balls. And then Kristen Wiig turns up as the token female. And then, just in case things couldn't get any better, Jason Bateman goes all X-Files and begins running about with a gun and a suit.
I was excited about Peggy and Frosty teaming up on screen again (especially with Adventureland's Greg Mottola), but who knew a tale of two geeks on a road trip to Area 51 with a foul-mouthed alien hitchhiker could be so entertaining? That's obviously a retarded question.
Paul is out on Monday 14th February. Read on for the new video. Unless, you know, you DON'T want to see green alien testicles for some reason.
Director: Shawn Levy
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly
Release Date: Friday 7th October 2011
A gritty, white-knuckle, action ride set in the near-future where the sport of boxing has gone high-tech, ‘Real Steel’ stars Hugh Jackman as Charlie Kenton, a washed-up fighter who lost his chance at a title when 2000-pound, 8-foot-tall steel robots took over the ring. Now nothing but a small-time promoter, Charlie earns just enough money piecing together low-end bots from scrap metal to get from one underground boxing venue to the next.
When Charlie hits rock bottom, he reluctantly teams up with his estranged son Max (Dakota Goyo) to build and train a championship contender. As the stakes in the brutal, no-holds-barred arena are raised, Charlie and Max, against all odds, get one last shot at a comeback.