Na na na na na na na na Batnoms...

Need some nibbles to go with your Nolan? Why not try baking your own the Dark Knight Rises cupcakes?

All you need is:

100g Butter
100g Self-raising flour
100g Sugar
2 Eggs
Vanilla essence
1/2 tsp baking powder

Mix them together, shove them in the oven (180ºC) for 15-20 minutes - and don't forget the baking powder. You know, just to make sure the Dark Knight cupcake (ahem) rises.

Then you can start having fun with the icing... 

Director: Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Juno Temple
Certificate: 12A

“A storm is coming…” The last time we heard those words, it was back in 2005 and Bruce Wayne (Bale) was putting on his Batsuit for the first time. It’s no mistake that we hear them again now, at the conclusion of The Dark Knight trilogy: Christopher Nolan’s epic finale is full of flashbacks and echoes that pick up on the smallest of details from the preceding instalments: tiny asides turned into big, loud plot points.

And when I say "big", I mean BIG. The same goes for LOUD.

Poor old Alfred. It's not easy being a butler. Especially one working for a nutjob billionaire. While Bruce Wayne runs around in make-up and a cape, Alfred's left in a mansion all on his own with nothing but a piano to keep him company.

Yeah, no one ever lets Mr. Pennyworth have his two pennies worth or gives him a second thought.

Until now. Because searching through the rubble of Wayne Manor, a friend of mine uncovered this heavily-damaged cassette tape of a rare Pennyworth piano session.

Here is Alfred Pennyworth (as played by Michael Caine) singing the Batman Butler Blues:

Another video full of snippets of Batman, Bane and Catwoman? You might balk at the idea of Nokia's exclusive teaser, but you know what? It's only the best ruddy Dark Knight Rises trailer yet. Not least because it has more Joseph Gordon Levitt in it.

See what I mean? It's almost enough to wipe out that mental image of the lamest Dark Knight Rises posters in history. Read on for those if you hate your eyeballs.

One of the Batman franchise's better line readings popped up on TV last night during the football. It's a wonderful use of eyebrows and gutteral throat growling, although it's still not as good as Christian Bale's classic "WHERE IS HE?"

"You don't owe them any more. You've given them everything." "Not everything… not yet."

That's the sound of The Dark Knight Rises claiming back the summer. Just as people get blown away by The Avengers and wax lyrical about the latest Prometheus trailer, Warner Bros hit back hard with this final trailer - and it looks good. More importantly, it sounds good too.

Yes, Tom Hardy's Bane can actually be understood here, while the music, chanting and general growling set the tone for a nice, moody blockbuster. Well, that and the constant talk about death, burials, "rising" and giving Gotham everything. Will Bruce be bumped off? Will Joseph Gordon Levitt save the day? Who knows? My only question is this: where's Gary Oldman?

Read on for the final Dark Knight Rises trailer and marvel at the sheer scale of the thing - and the breathtaking speed of the internet hype cycle. From superheroes to aliens back to superheroes in 72 hours. All I can tell you is I'll be booking tickets to both this and Prometheus at the IMAX very soon.

The Dark Knight Rises is out on Friday 20th July.

The new Dark Knight Rises trailer has arrived and it's officially epic (as well as ridiculously early - it's not even 2012 yet, remember, and we've already had a teaser poster, a one-sheet poster and a teaser trailer).

"There's a storm coming Mr. Wayne..." whispers Anne Hathaway's Catwoman, all sexy and arousing. Then Tom Hardy's Bane walks in and destroys a football pitch. "MUMMBLE GRUNT HMMF MUMBLE!" he says, equally sexy and arousing.

At least, that's if you believe what the folks who saw the 9-minute IMAX prologue said last week. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I understood his dialogue (all one line of it) completely.

In other noteworthy news, Christopher Nolan and Bruce Wayne have created a Bat-Copter. And it looks awesome.

Read on to watch the full Dark Knight Rises trailer - or if you still can't get enough Batman hype, see our Super Mega Exclusive On-Set London Dark Knight Rises Photos(including the shocking reveal of Gotham's cheapest pork sausages).

You've all seen the official Dark Knight Rises one sheet already, but tough - I wanted to spend all afternoon drooling over it too.

"The Batman has to come back." "What if he doesn't exist anymore?"

Yes, the Dark Knight Rises official trailer has turned up online. And it's officially brilliant.

Ok, it amounts to little more than a compilation of Christopher Nolan's previous Batman films followed by 20 seconds of Gary Oldman in bed, but it's still pretty exciting.

The only sad part is that it's got generic title cards like "Every hero has a journey". You know what that means? That flipping Dark Knight Rises trailer description WAS RIGHT. Dammit.

Oh well, there's always that quick glimpse of Tom Hardy as Bane to put in me in a good mood. 

The Dark Knight Rises on Friday 20th July 2012. Read on for the full video.

Do you remember when all those sites started posting a leaked trailer for Fincher's Dragon Tattoo remake? Well, now film blogs have found another way to talk about an upcoming film at the earliest possible opportunity before the trailer's even been leaked. Imagine my surprise when I saw people posting descriptions of The Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer.

Actually, you don't have to imagine my surprise. You can read a description of it:

I was not surprised. 

 

Here's how the description of The Dark Knight Rises trailer starts (spoiler alert if you think it might actually be real):

And in case that description isn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the trailer:

The description is in a red font. It opens with a mention of the studio logo. A film trailer starting with a studio logo? This can only be described as newsworthy.

Then there are some words that don't quite form a sentence, before BIG LETTERS spell out something that doesn't quite form a word. (What is this mysterious "JOURNAY"? If only someone could provide us with a handy description.)

All of this (probably fake) description is written in something that can't really be described as English, mainly because the person doing the describing didn't read a description of what a full stop is. 

And in case THAT description of the description wasn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the description of the trailer:

Fecking pointless.

And here's a description of the t-shirt I was wearing while writing that description:

It's got a fish on it. 

I understand the excitement about The Dark Knight Rises. I'm looking forward to seeing the trailer when it does arrive, but I can wait to see it. I enjoyed the teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises without needing a description a few days beforehand. (What would the description be? "It's a poster with a Batman logo on it.")

Are we really at the point now where websites are so desperate for Batman headlines that we need descriptions of everything, even a 93 second preview of a film that's not out for another 12 months? That's not impatient; it's silly. And the blogs I saw the trailer description on (SlashFilm and Collider)? I'd describe them as capable of much better work.