Zoolander 2

Really, really, ridiculously disappointing.

The Assassin

There are martial arts movies and there are martial arts movies. The Assassin isn't either.

Batman v Superman

A bold, mature exploration of myths and epics - followed by a two-hour mess.

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Home Movie Cupcakes Christmas Movie Cupcakes: Die Hard
Christmas Movie Cupcakes: Die Hard Print E-mail
Written by Ivan Radford   
Friday, 07 December 2012 00:24

Oh, the weather outside is frightful... and you need some emergency Christmas foodstuffs to feed the terrorists who have just invaded your workplace and are holding everyone hostage. You ask for miracles. I give you: Die Hard cupcakes.

 

Step One: Using the elevator shaft, sneak your way past the terrorists to get to the kitchen. Find these ingredients.

 

Ingredients

100g butter

100g sugar

100g SR flour

25g cocoa powder

2 eggs

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp vanilla essence

Chocolate chips

 

Decorating

Oreos

Icing sugar

Water

Black colouring

Read colouring

 

Step Two: Mix the ingredients and cook the cupcakes for around 15 minutes at 180 degrees.


Step Three: Provided the coast is still clear, roll out some white icing - remember to dust the counter with Ellis' cocaine first to stop it from sticking - and cut out a vest-shaped chunk.

 

Step Four: Now get some black icing and roll it into several very small sausages - about the length of a joint in your finger. Assemble into a gun.

 

Step Five: Use a knife to score a pattern on the butt, then use a cake tester (or skewer) to carve out the barrel. Stop when it's lifelike enough to fool one of the terrorists. You know, the stupid German one.

 

Step Four: Once the cupcakes are as cool as Hans Gruber, the coast should be clear. Sneak back to the kitchen and use some water to stick the vest and the gun on the top of the cake. Then find one of the dead terrorists and scoop up some blood in a teacup. Drip the blood on top of the best to complete the full John McClane effect.

 

Step Five: Go back up the elevator shaft, blow some stuff up and present the cupcakes to Alan Rickman. The terrorists will either love them so much they'll let you go or they'll spend so long eating them that Sgt. Al Powell will have the time to climb up the stairs and surprise them from behind. (Once he smells those cupcakes - he'll come running.)

 

Yippee-ki-yay mother-OMNOMNOMNOMNOM

 

For more movie-inspired cakes, click here - or return to our movie advent calendar.

 

Tags:
  • christmas cake ideas
  • christmas movie cupcake