What is Nicolas Cage thinking about on the Stolen poster?

More suggestions welcome below.

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Cast: Channing Tatum, Rooney Mara, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jude Law
Certificate: 15

Steven Soderbergh's final final film - after that other final film and the final film before that one - follows Magic Mike with another blisteringly smart piece of filmmaking, a stylish pharmaceutical noir that will make sure you always read the label...

Yesterday, a video interview between Mila Kunis and BBC Radio 1’s Chris Stark did the rounds – an interview that saw the actress discussing football, his mate Dicko and how to “bosh a pint” more than the actual film she was promoting.

“Seriously, I’m petrified,” Chris begins. “I’m used to being down at the local pub with the boys.”

Mila responds with humour, asking him questions to get the nervous 20-something to come out of his shell: she ends up interviewing him rather than the other way round.

It was all a set-up for Chris Stark’s radio personality (usually appearing on the Scott Mills show), who wasn't told who he would be interviewing, but the amusing stunt reveals some truths about the junket interview system.

The new full-length Iron Man 3 trailer arrived online yesterday - and stars Yogi Bear as the villain. Or at least his very serious, very angry, very Sir Ben Kingsley-like cousin. Whose been taking elocution lessons from Elmer Fudd.

Here's the video. And yes, I think it looks excellent too.

Yesterday, the Harrison Ford sequel news that the whole world has been waiting for finally arrived: Harrison Ford has joined the cast of Anchorman 2.

Forget Kingdom of the Crystal Bumhole: now we have an Indiana Jones sequel we can really root for. I like to call it Indiana Jones and the Smell of Big-Foot's Dick. Here's a poster:

Have you heard of Gizoogle, biatch? It aint nuthin but been around fo' a while n' is pimped out funk fo' readin yo' own twizzlez yo.

What I just said: Have you heard of Gizoogle? It's been around for a while and is great fun for reading your own tweets.

But until now, I've never really considered Gizoogle's full power. The site's ability to rewrite any given text into gangsta speak is, for some reason, instantly hilarious. Is it the fact that it calls all movies "pornos"? Refers to the IMDb as the "Internizzle Porno Database"? The way it randomly inserts phrases such as "I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch" into completely arbitrary sentences?

Whatever it is, I've now realised that Gizoogle is a tool - nay, a gift from the internet gods - to take rubbish, boring or confusing films and improve them by at least 12%.

To demonstrate, here are five randomly-chosen films made better (busted mo' betta) with Gizoogle. Word. 

I'm So Excited about the UK trailer for I'm So Excited! Why? Is it the psychic who reads the future by feeling up a man's crotch? The world's gayest cabin crew? Antonio Banderas wearing a high-vis jacket?  

It's all of those - plus the fact that after the masterful The Skin I Live In, Pedro Almodovar is firmly back into bonkers mode. 

I'm So Excited! is out in UK cinemas on Friday 3rd May. Did I mention I was excited? Watch the trailer and I promise I'll put my clothes back on and stop dancing around the living room:

Director: Park Chan-wook
Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Matthew Goode, Nicole Kidman
Certificate: 18

Halfway through Stoker, India (Wasikowska) sits at a piano. She starts to play, a quiet right-hand arpeggio. Then, a left hand enters. It belongs to Uncle Charlie (Goode). This foreign bass line stays in tune, steady, before becoming increasingly discordant. Then, faster. Arpeggios of excitement fleck up the keyboard, contrapuntal rhythms overlapping as a melody begins to emerge. Harmonies. Depth. Louder. Faster. India crosses her legs. Uncle Charlie reaches behind her. The arpeggios leap up several octaves, minor flurries switching to diminished sevenths, tiny paroxysms of angst and confusion, before erupting into an elation of major chords. A melody arrives and everything fits together fluidly. Then, the bottom half disappears, leaving a dainty right hand on its own, rising and falling into an unresolved question.

That moment is probably the most erotic piano playing I’ve ever seen in a film.

It’s that use of music that makes Stoker so sublime. With a soundtrack by Clint Mansell and piano duets by Philip Glass, Park Chan-wook’s coming-of-age thriller is basically one long eargasm.

But the director doesn’t leave it all up to them. 

"There's a leak in the boat!"

Anybody who saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs will know exactly what to expect following that outburst* - but the resulting gag is brilliant nonetheless. Yes, judging by the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 trailer, Phil Lord and Chris Miller have left their sequel in very safe hands: those of Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn.

For a second helping of demon food, edible monsters and retina-melting colourful backdrops, read on for the full video - and the Cloudy 2 poster.

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Until today, I had never heard of the film The Conjuring. Now, having seen The Conjuring trailer, I can tell you the following three things about the film:

1. It's directed by James Wan, the guy who did Saw and Insidious.

2. It's out in the UK in July.

3. It scared the crap out of me.

Here's the full video: