With Aardman's The Pirates! setting sail on the stop-motion seas this week (here's our review), all the cool kids want to cover themselves in plasticine and hop on a boat.

But what do you do once you're smeared in silly putty and stranded at sea? If only there were some kind of guidelines, or code, for pirate etiquette.

Well, now there is. Here's our movie guide to being a pirate:

As Richard Ayoade’s delicate coming-of-age tale enters cinemas it takes its place alongside cinema’s other great submarines.

Based on Joe Dunthorne’s novel, Submarine looks like a heartfelt and hilarious ocean voyage, but I haven't seen it. So instead here's a list of other submarines that I HAVE seen.

Take that, "the best British comedy in years". 

Fox McCloud has spent years defending the Lylat system, but there's one enemy he's never been able to defeat... himself. 

So this is pretty much the greatest thing that has ever been done involving space, Wes Anderson and stop-motion furry puppets - unless Wes Anderson were to actually make this film. Particular highlights include the banjo and Owen Wilson's Falcon saying "Einstein".

Fact of the day: you can't barrel roll away from who you are.