As The Hollywood Reporter taught us over the weekend, it's a cruel and unfair thing to write a review of Joss Whedon's The Cabin in the Woods that contains a ton of spoilers. Reciting every key plot twist in full detail not only ruins the experience for the viewer but also shows a lack of imagination on the writer's part.

So here, using the pure power of imagination, is the world's most guaranteed 100% spoiler-free review of Cabin in the Woods:

Imagine a talking monkey riding a Nyan Cat next to Danger Mouse fighting a T-Rex on top of a dragon that fires LASERS FROM ITS EYES, while watching The Princess Bride AND eating bacon - narrated by Morgan Freeman. On Mars. (Inside a giant robot.)

The Cabin in the Woods is more awesome than that.

The Cabin in the Woods is out on Friday 13th April in the UK. We'll have a full (and equally spoiler-free) review then.

Your best mate, the guy down the pub, even your bin man - everyone seems to know something about Ghostbusters 3. But holster your Proton Packs, because here to bust those rumours for good is Sigourney Weaver herself. Chatting to Channel 4 News about Avatar (don't act like you haven't heard about it), she let slip a few details about the much-mooted sequel.

"I’m afraid to say it: Ghostbusters 3 is happening. I hope people are excited about that. I don’t know if I’m going to be in it, I have had a couple of calls asking "would you read the script?" But what is in this script she speaks of? "I know that my little son Oscar – who was kidnapped from me – I think he has grown up to be a ghostbuster... I see nothing wrong with being in it, although I don’t think I will have a big part. I think Bill Murray has a little more to do with it - he’s a ghost."

Does that mean Peter Venkman will be the new Slimer? Keep watching the walls, folks - we'll start stalking Murray now and let you know. Unless we get arrested first.