That's it. It's Christmas Eve. The Advent Calendar is over. There's nothing more to see here. Christmas is officially over. You've got no more festive film goodness to unwrap.

Except for this: a collection of all the best Christmas film quotes of all time.

What's your favourite Christmas film quote? Will Ferrell insulting Santa, Bill Nighy singing, Alan Rickman saying "ho ho ho", Zooey Deschanel singing Baby, It's Cold Outside, anything said by The Muppets - it's impossible to pick.

So I put them all in one massive festive list. Plus gay Val Kilmer too. Yes, this is the ultimate Christmas movie soundboard.  

Read on to have a click. (It may take a while to load because of its overwhelming awesomeness...)

Christmas is a lonely time for people like me who are dead inside. We curl up with a dead cat by a stone-cold fireplace, taunting the children who run past the window with cries of "Enjoy it while you're young!"

But every now and then, it's nice to join the human race for a couple of hours of mass delusion and saw "awwww" lots at the telly. Which is probably why Richard Curtis was put on this earth in the first place. 

If you're looking for a little heart-warming festive magic to make you feel all fuzzy, here are 6 romantic Christmas films to melt your frozen innards.

Everyone loves a chuckle at Christmas. Unless you're a total grumpus and you have no friends and you don't like Christmas and you're dead inside.

If you are dead inside, then these top six festive chortle buckets should cheer your sorry face up:

You know how it is. It's Christmas Eve. People are refusing to go to bed. But there's one easy way to get them up the stairs and under the duvet: scare the pants off them. And after the amount they've probably been drinking, it's best they remove their trousers before watching these festive frighteners. 

Here are 6 scary Christmas films to make you wet your stockings:

Rare Exports (2010)

Don't believe that Santa's a lovely old man who enjoys bringing you gifts? Well, good - because he isn't. He's an evil old monster who's been buried under a mountain in Finland for a decade and wants to eat your children. But not before he sends out a team of hairy naked men to track your offspring down and hide in their sheds. Brilliantly warped stuff.

Christmas is great, isn't it? All those cute adverts for shops on the telly, with their sentimental music and little children. All those cute adverts for shops on the telly with their sentimental music and little children, tricking you into spending money on DVDs.

It's a lovely time of year, when you can sit down with your family and watch alll your new DVDs. You can sit down with your family and watch your new DVDs and enjoy the warmth and love as they all talk all over the best bits. And eat all your food. And then your nephew scratches the disc and you can never watch it again. 

Yeah, Christmas is flipping brilliant.

If you're sick of crying at It's a Wonderful Life, cheering on Home Alone or laughing at The Muppet Christmas Carol, you might prefer one of these Christmas films for people who hate Christmas.

As Richard Ayoade’s delicate coming-of-age tale enters cinemas it takes its place alongside cinema’s other great submarines.

Based on Joe Dunthorne’s novel, Submarine looks like a heartfelt and hilarious ocean voyage, but I haven't seen it. So instead here's a list of other submarines that I HAVE seen.

Take that, "the best British comedy in years". 

Len "Die Hard 4.0" Wiseman is in negotiations to remake Total Recall. Sony Columbia are interested in updating Arnie's 1980 sci-fi favourite, which saw Douglas Quaid take a trip to Mars (inside his head) through a company specialising in fake memories.

Of course, everything goes wrong, and the construction worker starts to recall that he's really a spy who's had his cover blown. Which leads to a mental mix of Mars (for real), colonial civil war, and women with three breasts.

Philip K Dick is to blame, with his original story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale being so good that it not only inspired Paul Verhoeven's movie adaptation, but also talk of sequels, spin-offs and remakes for years now.

Kurt Wimmer (who wrote Equilibrium and Salt) is scribbling away at a script, with Wiseman hoping to hop on at the helm - it's either that, or do another Die Hard movie. Talk about a dilemma.