Well, handcuff my Secretary and throw me through a Stargate, it's James Spader's birthday!

One of the kings of the 80s (and cinema's sexiest spec-wearing sci-fi geek until Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day), Mr Spader deserves nothing less than the finest birthday card money can buy.

This will have to do. Now let's all go Crash some cars and get massive erections from the carnage.

Director: Paul Haggis
Cast: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson
Certificate: 15

"I'm Russell Crowe's Wife, Get Me Out of Prison!" doesn't sound like a film with much credibility. Indeed, Paul Haggis’ remake of French thriller Pour Elle occasionally lacks it in the script department, but The Next Three Days is surprisingly believable. If you can accept Russell Crowe as an English teacher.

What with the seasonal cheer and family planning, it's perfect timing for the new poster for I'm Russell Crowe's Wife Get Me Out of Prison! When else would people want to be reminded of the evils of jail, or the perils of jailbreaking?

From Paul "Crash" Haggis, this remake of the French thriller Pour Elle sees bumbling nice man John Brennan go all macho in his attempt to spring his wife from behind bars. Taking the advice of ex-con Liam Neeson and asking the friendly man at the local gun shop where to put the bullets, Brennan seems ill-equipped for the task.

But he has one secret weapon: powerful Death Ray lasers that come out the side of his brain. Or at least, that's what the poster looks like. Read on to check it out, or head over here to see The Next Three Days trailer. It busts into cinemas on Wednesday 5th January.

"Show me where the bullets go!"

That's Russell Crowe in Paul Haggis' latest film. But don't worry, The Next Three Days isn't a comedy - Haggis switching tack from Crash and In the Valley of Elah would be way too weird. Instead we get a thriller, about a husband breaking his wife out of prison.

John Brennan (Crowe) has a lovely life with his wife and kid, until she gets banged up for a crime she didn't commit. So he takes action. Lots of solid, boring, legal action. But after three years he's had enough, so he decides to break in and get her out.

Adapted from the the French movie Pour Elle, Crowe stars with Elizabeth Banks as his incarcerated spouse, and Liam Neeson as a dodgy criminal type. Except lots of serious faces throughout, but hopefully a decent amount of excitement. 

The Next Three Days trailer is online over at Yahoo! Movies. Read on to see the full video. 

Actor Dennis Hopper has been taken to a New York hospital with flu-like symptoms, his publicist Sheila Feren announced today. The 73 year old actor, who was in town to publicise the TV series spin-off of the movie Crash, is currently being treated following complaints of stomach ailments.

Onlookers reported seeing him taken out of the ambulance with tubes and pipes, one describing it as a scene eerily reminiscent of Blue Velvet.

Breaking through as a goon in 1955's Rebel without a Cause, Hopper rose to fame as co-writer and star of Easy Rider in 1970. Since then, roles in David Lynch's Blue Velvet and Speed have kept the actor's profile high, alongside his extensive art collections - he was one of the first to buy an Andy Warhol can of soup, at $75.

Two chat show appearances with Crash co-star Eric Roberts (above, right) have been cancelled as a result of the illness. No further details of his condition have yet been released.