Director: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell Cast: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson Certificate: PG Trailer
"A Queen doesnae place 'er weapon oan th' table."
That’s Queen Elinor (Thompson) 'spikin tae Princess Merida (Macdonald), a wild bairn who wants tae change 'er fate frae fancy dresses, formal duties an' fake smiles. Whaur most princesses practice cross-stitch, Merida rides ben th' forest. In place ay a lute, she wields a baw an' arraw. She's closer tae Link frae The Legend of Zelda than a Disney Princess. An' tae top 'er aff? An untrained barnit ay bricht red hair.
What sets Merida apart frae most animated heroes, Pixar included? One, she’s a lassie. Two, she's ginger. But three, an' most importantly, she doesnae hae a sidekick.
Merida spends aw day wi' 'er cuddie. but diz it gab? Ne'er. Half an hoor later, fleein' frae a horde ay male suitors, she winds up at a witch’s but-an-ben, a decision tha' introduces anither beastie tae th' story: a bear. It doesnae gab either.
Cannae kin whit aam saying? To read this Brave review in English, click here.
Director: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell Cast: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson Certificate: PG Trailer
"A lady does not place her weapon on the table."
That’s Queen Elinor (Thompson) speaking to Princess Merida (Macdonald), a wild child who wants to change her fate from one of fancy dresses, formal duties and fake smiles. Where most princesses practice cross-stitch, Merida rides through the forest. In place of a lute, she wields a bow and arrow. She's closer to Link from The Legend of Zelda than a Disney Princess. And to top her off? An untrained barnet of bright red hair.
What sets Merida apart from most animated heroes, Pixar included? One, she’s a girl. Two, she's ginger. But three, and most importantly, she doesn’t have a sidekick.
Merida spends all day with her horse. But does it talk? Never. Half an hour later, fleeing from a horde of male suitors, she winds up at a witch’s cottage, a decision that introduces another animal to the story: a bear. It doesn't talk either.
Ok, that's mean. The full trailer for The Life of Pi looks rather stunning. Ang Lee's take on Yann Martel's tale, which sees Pi (Suraj Sharma) wind up in a lifeboat with a tiger, a hyena, a zebra and an orangutan, is apparently full of pretty visuals. It might even work well in 3D.
But from the sun-soaked horizon to the CGI animals, it's impossible not to get a little whiff of The Lovely Bones. If that whiff turns into a proper stench? God help us all - and our tiger-filled rowing boats.
Director: George Miller Cast: Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Pink, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Hank Azaria, Ava Acres Certificate: PG
It's hard to believe that a movie about singing penguins could be so unloveable. After weeks of cooing over BBC's Frozen Planet, there's no better time to release this sequel to 2006's Happy Feet (it won an Oscar, remember). But after 20 minutes of singing, tapping and nonsensical storytelling, you soon give up on the adorable little animals and pine for David Attenborough, praying for a leopard seal to come along and kill them all.
Paul invaded the UK box office this weekend with £5.52m, the highest opening of 2011 to date. But the surprise of the week was Justin Bieber hitting rock bottom: Never Say Never 3D took just £820,592. The Beliebers won't be able to, erm, Belieb it.
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost taking top spot was expected, of course, given that the film landed in cinemas on Monday. While £5.52m is technically a record-breaking figure, it had four days of previews to rack up that total.
Compare it to, say, the superior Hot Fuzz, which got £5.92m on its opening weekend with just Wednesday and Thursday previews and you get a better picture. Paul took around £3.2m over the weekend alone - a way behind Tangled's debut of £5.11m in three days. But with a lot of negative reviews (and without Edgar Wright or 3D), Universal will be pleased to label their sci-fi a smash hit.
Director: D. J. Caruso Cast: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer, Callan McAuliffe, Dianna Agron, Kevin Durand Certificate: 12A
It's not easy being an alien. You want to blend in at high school and be all hot, blonde and good-looking, but you’ve got special powers and you’re on the run from evil aliens with sharp pointy teeth. On top of that, you’ve only got Timothy Olyphant for company. How could things get worse? I Am Number Four does a great job of finding out.
Saturday, 19 February 2011 Written by Ivan Radford
It's always the same at the Oscars and BAFTAs - everyone knows the big stuff, but nobody's seen the shorts.
If you're lucky, your local arthouse cinema will put on a showreel of all the ones that are up for awards, but more often than not, people just don't get the chance to watch the Oscar-nominated Best Animated Short Films.
And so we all end up just randomly guessing which film we think will win. And that's a shame - especially when there are cupcakes at stake for the person who gets the most predictions right (see The Oscar Nomnomnom Challenge).
Which leads us neatly to a rundown of this year's nominees for Best Animated Short Film - complete with full videos.
Wednesday, 09 February 2011 Written by Ivan Radford
With the news yesterday that the Mr Men (and presumably Little Misses) are on their way to the big screen courtesy of 20th Century Fox animation, I wanted to reassure those panicking idiots who think their childhood may be abused by a big CGI movie. Again.
Roger Hargreaves wrote 48 original Mr. Men books, starting in 1971. But after four different TV adaptations, where else is there to go in the Mr Men universe? Luckily for Fox, the Mr Men and Little Misses got busy overnight and popped out some appropriately named offspring. Here are some new characters for the studio to play with:
Parents: Mr Tickle / Little Miss Naughty
Plot: Little Miss Naughty Tickle loves a bit of naughty tickling. But one day she gets arrested by Mr Policeman for naughty tickling on street corners. Struggling through a hard prison life with her long arms in handcuffs, Little Miss Naughty Tickle comes out the other side a changed woman. Will she ever tickle again?
Parents: Mr Bump / Little Miss Curious
Plot: Mr Curious Bump discovers a curious bump in a sensitive area of his bumpy blue body. What could it be? Phoning up NHS Direct for answers, Mr Curious Bump spends four hours waiting on hold dreaming up increasingly fanciful and horrible things that might have caused the curious bump. A neurotic existential comedy, probably voiced by Paul Giamatti. Wes Anderson and Charlie Kaufman fight over directing duties.
Parents: Mr Wrong / Little Miss Magic
Plot: Mr Wrong Magic keeps doing magic wrong. He's killed two children already and destroyed at least three boats. When his latest illusion goes wrong, he ends up on the run with a whore who does tricks for money and a dead dove in a bag. As the cops close in on their location, it looks like they won't get out alive. Unless something magical happens...
Parents: Little Miss Fickle / Mr Christmas
Plot: Like all sexist depictions of women, Little Miss Fickle Christmas can never decide whether it's Christmas. Sick of indecision, hormonal imbalances and confused calendar dates, she does the only logical thing to save her sanity: she sets about destroying everything Christmas-related. Or does she? It soon turns out her evil doppelganger is doing the dastardly deeds, and the race is on for Little Miss Fickle Christmas to make up her mind once and for all. Can she save Santa? Of course she can! Or can she?
Parents: Mr Strong / Little Miss Bad
Plot: A Mexican wrestler by profession, Mr Strong Bad spends most of the 90 minute film replying to emails in his bedroom. No-one goes to see the film in the cinema because they're all too busy replying to emails in their bedroom, but Mr Strong Bad swiftly gains a cult following on DVD thanks to people who like obscure references to internet cartoons.
Parents: Mr No
Plot: Mr No says no a lot. Brought up by his single father, Mr No, Mr No has big shoes to fill. Consumed by his sense of failure and general inability to say yes, he chops his hands off after someone tells him not to. Then he goes to university and gets a PhD, setting this film up to become the world's first James Bond prequel.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011 Written by Ivan Radford
Director: Michel Gondry Cast: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz, Tom Wilkinson Certificate: 15 Trailer
Batman. Spider-Man. Wolverine. For years, fans have been waiting for a character to laugh at. But now we can laugh at something other than Tobey Maguire: Seth Rogen’s stepped into a superhero costume. And he’s not afraid to be funny. In fact, he’s good at it. And he kicks ass too. He does both. Very well.
Wednesday, 15 December 2010 Written by Ivan Radford
It's been 28 years since we last saw The Grid, and plenty has changed. It's gone from hand-drawn effects over the top of black cushions to sexy, stunning and sleek. A lot is thanks to the CGI, which is genuinely impressive for most of the movie. But how do you go about updating The Grid? You can't just shut it down on Sundays and disrupt The Dude's weekend commute. Joseph Kosinski, Olivia Wilde and Jeff Bridges all sit down to chat about making Tron: Legacy. The costumes, the 3D, and THAT face...
It's always the same at the Oscars and BAFTAs - everyone knows the big stuff, but nobody's seen the shorts. 
